The Rick Roll Sucks! Here are some alternatives that are just as crappy!
Posted on April 3, 2008
Filed Under Arts and Entertainment |
April fools is over and it seems like the most popular gag in the internet world is the Rick Roll. The recent popularity of Rick Astley and the Rick Roll kind of disgusts me. He was popular in the 80’s (actually only one year in the 80’s) and I think it would be best to leave him in the 80’s. I continue to see different RickRoll propaganda on various blogs, YouTube videos, and on some social networks. Really, it makes me throw up a little. Here are some Rolls that I would like to suggest as slightly better alternatives to the RickRoll.
Paul Roll
To get Paul Rolled would include taking your unsuspecting target to an adult movie and punching your munchkin in front of them. You just Paul Rueben Rolled them and you could be all “Ohhhhh snap! You just got Paul Rueben Rolled!”
For those who are unfamiliar with the name Paul Rueben, it is Pee-Wee Herman. Children adored him and he had a Saturday morning television show that was very popular until a 1991 incident where he was arrested for masturbating in an adult theater. This may be slightly better than the seriously rediculous Rick Roll.
Gary Roll
The Gary Roll would be to cast your unsuspecting target in a popular sitcom series with a catch phrase like “What you talking about Wills?” Then, cancel the series and give your target hope that they can continue their career. Once they have found a job as a security guard or other normal job, confront them and say, “You got GaryRolled. Ha!”
Gary Coleman stared in the 80’s sitcom Diff’rent Strokes and after the popular show he did not grow in popularity or height. I would say that Gary Coleman had more fans that Rick Astley in the 80’s and this would be marginally cooler than the uber gay Rick Roll.
Nancy Roll
After the Nancy Kerrigan Olympic skating incident of the early 90’s where Nancy was struck in the ankle by a cronie of her competitor, this one is pretty straight forward. First, enter your target in any kind of physical competition. Second, club them in the ankle. Finally, yell out loud, “You got Nancy Rolled bitch.” Rick Astley would be so lucky as to get Nancy Rolled.
Donkey Punch Roll
Just Donkey punch them. No explanation necessary, but more enjoyable.
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Well what about the “Dubya” roll?
The United States spends billions a year on defense, probably tens of millions alone protecting it’s president alone and the man nearly goes down to a pretzel.