7 Dirty Smurfs that Never Made the Show

Posted on April 7, 2008
Filed Under Arts and Entertainment, Lists |

I grew up watching the Smurfs, but I was always fairly sure that there were other smurfs that they did not let on the show. The following is my list of smurfs that did not make the cut.

Crack Head Smurf

This unfortunate Smurf hit some hard times after his wife and kids left him. Not long after, he resorted to drugs. Now, you can often find him around the seedier mushrooms offering to give smurfjobs for money.

Bondage Smurf

Oh, this naughty smurf has been very bad. Behind closed doors, he is Smurfette’s bitch. Some days he is a human smurftray, while others he is begging to get kicked in his little blue smurfy balls.

Chronic Masturbator Smurf

This smurf has had some serious problems and must register as a smurf offender. You see, this naughty smurf has a tenancy to pull his smurf out and start smurfing off whenever he sees fit.

Diarrhea Smurf

Funny, you never see smurfs shit, but they must. Poor Diareah Smurf has a huge problem and since they can only wear those little white bottoms, he has smurf shit running all over the place. When Papa Smurf heard that they were doing a show, they banished this stinky fucker.

Smurf Jeremy

This smurf is an adult smurf star that has a pecker 12 cm long. Nicknamed the SmurfHog and has been in thousands of porn movies. Unfortunately for him, since Smurfette is the only adult girl smurf, Smurf Jeremy is in gay smurf porn.

Angry Drunk Smurf

He grew up dreaming of being a member of the Lollipop Guild, but became an angry alcoholic after they kicked him out. Due to the blatant smurfism, Angry Drunk Smurf resorted to drinking Smurf Daniels and getting into fights with whoever is around.

VD Smurf

Co-starring in the adult gay smurf movie, Pound my Smurf, Smurf Jeremy he caught a bad case of VD and had to change his name from Ted. VD is no longer blue, but has different shades of red and puss colored. ewwww.